~ Anna

A few years ago, I met a friend in acting class named Anna. Although young in age, 24, Anna was already very wise. She had broken up with her long-time boyfriend, and had recently met a new partner in her life.

When I asked how her new relationship was going, she said “Mary, it’s wonderful. I can be myself in this relationship.”

I asked her what she meant by that. She replied “Well Mary, I now realize that when you’re in the wrong relationship, it’s like you’re acting.”

That’s when it hit me like a ton of bricks. Wow, that’s so true!

And what has this got to do with public speaking & presentations? EVERYTHING!

Just as you want to be able to be completely yourself in your personal relationships, so too you want to completely be yourself when speaking in front of an audience.

When I first started public speaking many years ago, I thought I had to be “formal.” To me, this meant straight-faced, serious and absolutely no humor, because that would be “unprofessional.” Unfortunately for my audience, that also meant my presentations were stiff and boring!

Being your relaxed self, means lighten up! And be conversational!

Today, I can’t emphasize this point enough to my students and coaching clients.

For example, what are you like when you are talking to a few friends in your living room, or having lunch with a close co-worker? I’m willing to bet that you are probably relaxed, smiling and enjoying the conversation. This is what I mean by being your “relaxed” self.

It’s no different in front of an audience. They WANT to see the relaxed you. Not the formal, stiff you, like I was. When you are being yourself and conversational, you engage the audience much more effectively.

One way you can practice this is to experiment with a small section of your speech. Sit down with a friend as though you are just having a regular one-on-one conversation. If a friend is not available, you can also do this by video-taping yourself. The key here is to forget that it’s a speech or presentation and just have a personal conversation. If it doesn’t feel or sound natural, it’s probably because you are being your “presentation” self again. Repeat this again and again, varying the tone and emphasis, until it sounds natural and you are relaxed and your speech sounds conversational.

Authenticity is being your true self, not your “presentation” self. Whether you’re in a relationship, or in front of an audience.

The next time you speak on the platform, will you be ‘acting’? Or will you be your relaxed, conversational self?

Mary Cheyne, MBA
2009 World Champion of Public Speaking 1st Runner-Up
Keynote Speaker / Trainer / Coach
Magnetic Podium, LLC
617-858-1466
www.MagneticPodium.com

~ Blair Singer

Happy Holidays!

Not too long ago, I was one of several speakers at an event. Before the event, I got to meet and speak with my fellow presenters. I could see that some of them were pre-occupied with their upcoming presentations. How could I tell? Let me put it to you this way: Have you ever been talking to someone, where they are physically in front of you, maybe even looking at you, but you can tell they are somewhere else in their own thoughts?

In fact, most of the presenters that day were somewhat distracted, except one, Martin. Martin was very relaxed, at ease, and was having fun with the conversations. When I chatted with him one-on-one, he was completely present and in the moment. Even though the room was buzzing with voices in the background, his soft gaze stayed solidly fixed on me, as though I was the only person in the room. Even though I don’t remember what I said during that conversation, I do remember feeling as though I was heard. In those few moments, what I said mattered.

I was not at all surprised that during the actual presentations, Martin connected best with the audience.

What is the lesson here?

To connect well with an audience of many people, you must first be able to connect with them one-on-one. If you would indulge me to be direct as I reiterate this point: As a speaker, if we cannot connect well with someone one-on-one, what hope do we have of connecting with a group of people consisting of many individuals? The answer is ‘next to zero’.

Suggestion

As you gather with family and friends during this holiday season, take some time to practice connecting with them on an individual basis. As one of my mentors taught me: Be interested, not interesting. That means, resist any initial temptation to talk about yourself and ask them about themselves. The key is: Listen to what they have to say. Be present to them. Being interested is the doorway to connection.

So the next time you speak with someone, whether it’s one-on-one or a group, how well will you connect with them? Will you be interesting? Or interested?

Mary Cheyne, MBA
2009 World Champion of Public Speaking 1st Runner-Up
Keynote Speaker / Trainer / Coach
Magnetic Podium, LLC
617-858-1466
www.MagneticPodium.com

PS: I recently gave a public speaking workshop to a group of 300+ people in Hong Kong. Click to play a short video from the event where I talk about connecting with an audience.

In this movie Neal Page (played by Steve Martin) finds himself getting stuck with an annoying travel companion, Del Griffith (played by John Candy).

Page (Martin) quickly becomes irritated with how much Griffith (Candy) talks and talks and talks. There is a scene in the movie when Page becomes so fed up that his temper explodes.

Even though this movie is clearly a comedy, and Page’s barrage of words in this scene is spoken in frustration towards Griffith, I think there is ‘wisdom’ that presenters and speakers can take away.

Many speakers fall into the trap that Page berates Griffith for. See for yourself.

Click here to see his 25-second tirade on telling stories.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsnhpizu9oc

The moral here is:

When telling a story in your speeches or presentations, for the sake of your audience, PLEASE have a POINT. One that is related to your presentation!

Mary Cheyne
2009 World Championship of Public Speaking 1st Runner-up

Keynote Speaker/Trainer/Coach
Magnetic Podium, LLC
617-858-1466
mary@magneticpodium.com
www.magneticpodium.com

~ Steve Jobs (quoting the Whole Earth Catalog)

I recently read the biography of Steve Jobs (by Walter Isaacson). It’s one of the most well-written, insightful and entertaining non-fiction books I’ve read in a long time.

The book reminds us of one of Jobs’ favorite quotes (from his famous Stanford University commencement address in 2005). The quote is, of course, “Stay hungry. Stay foolish.”

I love this quote because it is great advice that both speakers and presenters can use.

As speakers, we must resist the temptation to be complacent if we are to continue to grow. To do this, we must stay hungry!

I am a big fan of encouraging my public speaking students and coaching clients to stretch themselves. During your next speech or presentation, I challenge you to try something(s) you wouldn’t normally do. Only then can you experience your range.

As with everything I teach, I am compelled to walk my talk. For example, when I gave my keynote speech at a recent conference in Hong Kong, I tried something I had never done before.

At first, I asked my audience to write down their top 3 limiting self-beliefs on a piece of paper. I then instructed them to scrunch up that piece of paper and throw it across the room to symbolize discarding those beliefs that no longer served them.

Can you imagine what this must have been like? In my mind, this was a risky logistical challenge considering there were over 300 people in the audience. But because this would be the most tangible & memorable way I could think of for them to experience the point and because I was hungry to try something different, I went through with it.

I am pleased to say that the risk paid off. The audience took to it like ducks to water. Click here to see a live video of the exercise.

As a speaker, be hungry and step outside your box. There ARE no limitations, except for the ones in your own mind. Stay hungry to experience your range.

What about the second half of the quote, stay foolish?

Why would you want to be foolish in the first place anyway? Much less stay foolish? I’m glad you asked.

When you try something new, you may experience some awkwardness. I know I did when I enrolled in an Action Theatre class last year in an effort to expand myself. Action Theatre is a form of improv, and let me tell you, I definitely felt like a fool. Yet, I highly recommend it. But why would I recommend something that would make you feel like a fool? Because it will stretch you.

And now, because of Action Theatre (which I am still awkward at by the way), I’ve stretched my range, and I will forever be more fully self-expressed on the platform.

When was the last time you stepped outside your box?

As this new year, 2012, continues to roll in, let me ask you this: As a speaker, how hungry will you be to grow? And how foolish are you willing to feel to expand your range?

Remember, stay hungry. Stay foolish.

Mary Cheyne, MBA
2009 World Champion of Public Speaking 1st Runner-Up
Keynote Speaker / Trainer / Coach
Magnetic Podium, LLC
617-858-1466
www.MagneticPodium.com

If you want to improve, it doesn’t matter what your “score” is, so long as you are moving towards the desired end of the scale.

Mary Cheyne
2009 World Championship of Public Speaking 1st Runner-up

Keynote Speaker/Trainer/Coach
Magnetic Podium, LLC
617-858-1466
mary@magneticpodium.com
www.magneticpodium.com

How can I show confidence, energy and enthusiasm in a presentation, interview or meeting, when I am giving it sitting down?

Mary’s Answer ~

When you are giving a presentation, interview or meeting sitting down, here are a few tips:

1) Your confidence and enthusiasm can be conveyed through your voice, facial expressions and gestures using the upper half of your body.

2) Make sure you hold eye contact with your interviewer/audience in the meeting. Holding eye contact with each person shows a level of self-confidence that you believe in what you are saying.

3) Energy is contagious. If you are enthusiastic about your message, so will your audience, whether it’s a one-on-one or a group.

4) Breathe deeply and consciously focus on relaxing your center (just above your stomach). When you are centered, you can communicate from the relaxed, authentic place inside of you.

5) And finally, so long as you are sincere and believe in what you have to say, you will come across as confident whether you are standing up or sitting down.

Mary Cheyne
2009 World Champion of Public Speaking 1st Runner Up
Keynote Speaker/Trainer/Coach
Magnetic Podium

In case you haven’t heard of Les Brown, I’ll fill you in on his inspiring story – As a baby Les & his twin brother were abandoned in a low-income part of Miami. They were adopted by a domestic worker, Mamie Brown, who had little education & very limited means. In school, Les failed the 4th grade & was labeled “educably mentally retarded” & was called ‘D.T’ by the other kids (the Dumb Twin). None of his teachers recognized his potential, except for one — Mr Washington — whose 1 sentence turned Les’s life around.

He said to Les:

“Someone’s opinion of you
does not have to become your reality.”

Les went on to become one of the World’s most well known & respected motivational speakers & speech coaches. Here is what I learned from Les – Directly from his mouth, to my newsletter to your eyes:

• You’re never too old to learn & never too young to teach.

• Nothing happens until it is spoken.

• Live full, die empty.

• Your history does not have to be your future.

• You will fail your way to success.

And my personal favorite: -

• Never let anybody tell you what you can’t do, especially if they haven’t done it.

Wise words. But perhaps the most important lesson Les reminded me of was that we all have a story – YOUR story is powerful.

Where you came from, what you have learned, the emotional struggles that you have overcome is indeed a powerful teaching tool for others.

As Les pointed out, your story uniquely speaks to groups of people that my story or his story never will. What is your story? Share it generously with others — Don’t be stingy — You never know who you can help.

Mary Cheyne
2009 World Championship of Public Speaking 1st Runner-up

How can I get access to Learning & Development/Training presenters sessions so I can learn how I can leverage their knowledge and techniques?

Mary’s Answer ~

There are 3 suggestions that I have to answer your question:

#1 – Observe Mentors You Respect.

Are there any Learning & Development/Training presenters whose style of training you like? If possible attend one of their training sessions and put on your “observers” hat. Take note of what techniques you like that they used during the session. You can also do this with sample videos of their presentations that they post either on their website or on YouTube.

This method of learning from your training ‘mentors’ is what I call ‘passive’ learning, which is observing and modeling.

#2 – Utilize Available Resources.

I would recommend ‘Train-the-Trainer’ type resources. This is what I call ‘active’ learning. Again, I would advise learning from those trainers/learning & development presenters whose style resonates with you. For example, one of my favorite ‘Train-the-Trainer’ sessions that I have taken was from Peak Potentials.

Other resources are also available through digital media. For example, one of my favorite teachers in this genre who trains using accelerated-learning techniques is Ed Tate. I recommend his CD called “Interactive Lectures.” Stay tuned for my upcoming educational program, “Train-the-Trainer.”

#3 – Network with ASTD

Attend your local ASTD Chapter meetings (American Society of Training and Development) and network with other professional trainers. Ask them specific questions that you may have to leverage their knowledge and techniques. To find your nearest ASTD Chapter, click here.

Mary Cheyne
2009 World Champion of Public Speaking 1st Runner Up
Keynote Speaker/Trainer/Coach
Magnetic Podium

How can I make a more dynamic, engaging presentation than I currently do?

Mary’s Answer ~

There are many ways that you can make your presentation more dynamic and engaging.

One of the BEST ways you can make your presentation more engaging is the use of a personal story. Tie the point of your presentation to the story. People are magnetized by a story that is well told. For a further education on being an engaging presenter, stay tuned for my upcoming educational program “Keep Your Audience at the Edge of Their Seats.”

Mary Cheyne
2009 World Champion of Public Speaking 1st Runner Up
Keynote Speaker/Trainer/Coach
Magnetic Podium

When giving a memorized speech, I sometimes lose my train of thought if I look at the people too closely. How can I prevent this from happening?

Mary’s Answer ~

Firstly, I would encourage you to internalize your speeches, rather than memorize. The difference being: In memorizing, you are having to check back with your mind to see what the next sentence is going to be. Internalization on the other hand, is when you know your speech so well that do not have to ‘think’ about the words.

There are a few ways you can achieve this. Here are 2 ways that work best for me:

#1 – Know what you want to say.

Know your material so well that a simple pointer E.g. a Bullet point can prompt you to say your material. This is done by lots of practice.

#2 – Internalize, not Memorize.

Rather than giving a ‘memorized speech’ — give the speech as though it was a conversation. E.g. Write down a few bullet points that your speech will cover, and then simply ‘talk to’ the audience about those points. This also takes practice, and trusting in yourself that what comes out of your mouth is exactly what needs to come out in that moment.

Mary Cheyne
2009 World Champion of Public Speaking 1st Runner Up
Keynote Speaker/Trainer/Coach
Magnetic Podium
www.magneticpodium.com